A friend of Dorothys- how important is community?

[TenderKnight]

Nice thread

I am from the South as well, North Carolina, to be exact. When I moved out here to California, it was a HUGE culture shock to be somewhere and there were GLBT folks walking around, holding hands.. In broad daylight! There were rainbow flags up YEAR ROUND and there wasn't a rebel flag anywhere to be seen.

Is living in a place where I see gay people and Pride all the time helpful to me as a person? I think it is.. I don't go to bars to hang with people in the communities, we have a GLBT Center here that has groups and functions year round and weekly. I know that I will be moving back to the South at some point.. But it will be very hard to adjust back to living somewhere where even the other queers are scared to have other queers openly hold hands in broad day light.. I will miss this realtime queer community that I am living in.

Thanks for the topic, look forward to following it.

-Tony

[Converse]

Originally Posted by TenderKnight

Nice thread

I am from the South as well, North Carolina, to be exact. When I moved out here to California, it was a HUGE culture shock to be somewhere and there were GLBT folks walking around, holding hands.. In broad daylight! There were rainbow flags up YEAR ROUND and there wasn't a rebel flag anywhere to be seen.

Is living in a place where I see gay people and Pride all the time helpful to me as a person? I think it is.. I don't go to bars to hang with people in the communities, we have a GLBT Center here that has groups and functions year round and weekly. I know that I will be moving back to the South at some point.. But it will be very hard to adjust back to living somewhere where even the other queers are scared to have other queers openly hold hands in broad day light.. I will miss this realtime queer community that I am living in.

Thanks for the topic, look forward to following it.

-Tony

Thank you for this TenderKnight- It is going to be interesting to see how and if your tolerance level and need for visual signs of a community are going to be altered when you return to the South after being exposed to a very alternative social “norm”.

I knew of one person closeted before she came to a very large gay friendly city, and after a year of being out, was forced due to family circumstances to return to her home town.

She struggled; I recall her going through some extreme emotions. But within a month of going back- she came out to her family, and scoured and hunted until she found some gay connections. 3 years later, her situation again changed and she was finally able to leave.

She said that the exposure that she had the 3 years prior was so important in allowing her to know who she was and to know that it was ok. She said it helped make her braver so now she was the big rainbow colored fish in a small but friendly bowl. She said the giant fish tank although is was colorful- was just too big for her, so she never moved back to the city.

Have you been back to visit since you relocated?

[TenderKnight]

Converse, thank you for your kind words No, I haven't went back in the past three years.. It will be interesting when I do go to visit, which will be (hopefully) sometime this late summer, early fall. I'm out to my family, except for my nephew.. He's known me from when he was 18 months or so when he moved in with my family. He's not seen me since he was 6.. He's nine now.. I'm kinda nervous, to be honest.. In any case, that is one of the things that has me a lil worried about going back.

I do actually have some friends that live around there that are queer, so may get to spend sometime out and about in the local scene, will see how it goes. Will also be diffrent because this is the first time I'll be there as a transguy that passes for biomale. lol.. I'm sure that it could be fun though!

Will be sure to post about it when the time comes. Thanks again for the thread and the topic

-Tony

[Converse]

Originally Posted by TenderKnight

Converse, thank you for your kind words No, I haven't went back in the past three years.. It will be interesting when I do go to visit, which will be (hopefully) sometime this late summer, early fall. I'm out to my family, except for my nephew.. He's known me from when he was 18 months or so when he moved in with my family. He's not seen me since he was 6.. He's nine now.. I'm kinda nervous, to be honest.. In any case, that is one of the things that has me a lil worried about going back.

I do actually have some friends that live around there that are queer, so may get to spend sometime out and about in the local scene, will see how it goes. Will also be diffrent because this is the first time I'll be there as a transguy that passes for biomale. lol.. I'm sure that it could be fun though!

Will be sure to post about it when the time comes. Thanks again for the thread and the topic

-Tony

Oh that is definitely a set of posts I will be watching out for. 9 year olds still process through their hearts ( and not yet through other peoples prejudices). I'm sure your nephew is going to be excited to spend time with you. Good luck