What is on your mind

[KCBUTCH]

How incredulous it is when the Universe keeps us on track. How amazing it is things just happen exactly like they are supposed to. How wonderful for this Universe and all her wisdom....I may not always like what she provides for me or prevents me from doing, but in the end, I am always so much more blessed.
Thanks wonderful Universe. I am open to your divine interventions...:)

LOVE THIS- AND IN FULL AGREEMENT

[clay]

LOVE THIS- AND IN FULL AGREEMENT

thanks, KC.
As time passes, I am able to accept what she provides me instead of always trying to "make my own will"....this magnificent Universe has always taken care of me...in her own way/timeframe/provisions..so why shouldn't I just go with her flow now...:)>

[KCBUTCH]

A client is on my mind- He was severely neglected and bullied all through school but kept it to himself. He struggles I can see it. After group- I went and sat with him after the other clients left and he broke down and cried with me,

It is so hard to have professional boundaries when you just want to hold someone.
So I touched his back and rubbed in for a moment and told him he was safe and it will get better it just takes time, I asked him to promise me he would go to the local alano club after that and sit so he was somewhere safe and surrounding my community. He cried some more, I told him "crying is the best things you could do, let yourself cry, I cry often" and that I could see he was hurt and afraid but that he had numbers to call and places to be ok in where they'd understand. Withdrawal is difficult and I would make sure that his doctor would be made of the anxiety he was experiencing first thing in the morning and I am really glad he told me how he really felt, so I could help him get his needs met.
He'll be in my prayers tonight. :praying:

[KCBUTCH]

thanks, KC.
As time passes, I am able to accept what she provides me instead of always trying to "make my own will"....this magnificent Universe has always taken care of me...in her own way/timeframe/provisions..so why shouldn't I just go with her flow now...:)>

I call that surrender-to the unknown. I can only do the footwork and stay awake to the process- the rest I trust to the infinite source knowing there is no lack or limitations to the universes intentions for me
How that will look is none of my business. Mine is only to BE the BEST me I can BE.
I relate my friend and thank you so much for sharing it- I appreciate your truth
Namaste'

[clay]

I call that surrender-to the unknown. I can only do the footwork and stay awake to the process- the rest I trust to the infinite source knowing there is no lack or limitations to the universes intentions for me
How that will look is none of my business. Mine is only to BE the BEST me I can BE.
I relate my friend and thank you so much for sharing it- I appreciate your truth
Namaste'

Welcome, bro!!!!!

[dixie]

A client is on my mind- He was severely neglected and bullied all through school but kept it to himself. He struggles I can see it. After group- I went and sat with him after the other clients left and he broke down and cried with me,

It is so hard to have professional boundaries when you just want to hold someone.
So I touched his back and rubbed in for a moment and told him he was safe and it will get better it just takes time.
He'll be in my prayers tonight. :praying:

Sometimes those professional boundaries have to be crossed. There were times that both battered women and abused children at the DV shelter needed a hug and cry much more than they needed my counsel. In those experiences I have found that it also tends to strengthen that client-counselor bond and will allow them to open up further, more comfortably and confidently.

[DamonK]

Food soon that will hopefully warm me up
Then back to the dogs
And try to do homework
I may end up curling up on the couch with lots of blankets instead


Outside of that, I think I've not much else on my mind.

[WingsOnFire]

Finding out that the reason why i felt the bed shake even though i was the ONLY one on it.... was a 3.7 scale earth quake felt by SW Washington and Oregon..

[TheMerryFairy]

I am keeping a coulpe of friends very close in thought tonight. It's times like this that I wish I could just cuddle up with them to know I am there, to say things will be okay and maybe for a couple of moments acheive an inner calm through the storm.

A bottle of wine, netflix and homemade treats.

[KCBUTCH]

Sometimes those professional boundaries have to be crossed. There were times that both battered women and abused children at the DV shelter needed a hug and cry much more than they needed my counsel. In those experiences I have found that it also tends to strengthen that client-counselor bond and will allow them to open up further, more comfortably and confidently.

I agree- I guess part of me could tell he wasn't ready for more, I am just grateful I could be there, it was a hectic day and he just got out of detox last night and went to to sleep and came directly to group this morning and we had a lot of intakes so it was very important to me to give him some time one on one, he was long forgotten in his life I don't want his healing process to be the same. I know that hurt so well- it makes my heart bleed for him. :)

[dixie]

I had been disappointed over the fact that I will not be going on the vacation that I had planned, due to all this health stuff and financial stuff. My very dear friend has given me three choices: Italy, Ireland, or England. I am to pick one and my friend will finance my choice of vacation and take time off to not only play tour guide for me, but to fly to the US simply so I won't be alone on the long flight. I am utterly in shock at the offer (which is way too much for me to accept), but also blown away by such a wonderful friendship! I am blessed. (f)

[jcisbutch]

a kiss goodnight...

[Soon]

First Day of Second Semester + Lack of Sleep = Grumpy Teacher

[DamonK]

Discovering an exam due in 2 days.
Watching the pups play.
Watching the littlest pup try to entice her sister from the blankets and looking offended that it didn't work.
A conversation had.
She is. Always.

[~ocean]

how to get rid of NOISEY racoons

[Bella~Vita]

Wanting to tell my ~Bestie~ Gn & that I had such a great time tonite. And that I will talk to her tomorrow. You're on my mind ~Besti~ .. lol !

[sierragirrl]

skunk number 6 sittin in the trap
the skunks that are still under my house fighting and spraying
anyone want some skunks?
there free :fart:

[sierragirrl]

how to get rid of NOISEY racoons

i will trade you your racoons for my skunks in a hot second!:fart:

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

My new place to live.
The physical pain that I am in.
Homework
The dream I so wish I was having.
Which leads to the fact that she is on my mind.

[jac]

i will trade you your racoons for my skunks in a hot second!:fart:

Maybe both of you should look into speaking with your local game warden to find healthy ways to get rid of the critters (coons and skunks) or perhaps they can come do it for you?

[WingsOnFire]

Some things are harder to forget than others. Right now I'm struggling with that.

[sierragirrl]

Maybe both of you should look into speaking with your local game warden to find healthy ways to get rid of the critters (coons and skunks) or perhaps they can come do it for you?

sadly i do have the proper people taking care of my critters..just have so many of them....it is almost season so they are doing there dance to get ready..

and i am just in the cross fire..BOO hiss! ppeeeeewwwww

[Gemme]

I'm a bad bad girl..

Did anyone else hear the opening bars to Fiona Apple's "Criminal" when they read this?

FFOzayDpWoI

I had been disappointed over the fact that I will not be going on the vacation that I had planned, due to all this health stuff and financial stuff. My very dear friend has given me three choices: Italy, Ireland, or England. I am to pick one and my friend will finance my choice of vacation and take time off to not only play tour guide for me, but to fly to the US simply so I won't be alone on the long flight. I am utterly in shock at the offer (which is way too much for me to accept), but also blown away by such a wonderful friendship! I am blessed. (f)





I'd have a hard time deciding. Enjoy!

[~ocean]

Maybe both of you should look into speaking with your local game warden to find healthy ways to get rid of the critters (coons and skunks) or perhaps they can come do it for you?

I have , they wont remove them ~ it's cost me thousands over the years dealing w. the little buggers ~

[StrongButch]

Her beautiful eyes and lovely brown skin. (yummmyy)

[WingsOnFire]

Trying to remind myself that my seasonal depression doesn't last forever. But the sun really could shine for me. I won't mind at all.

[maryam]

Insomnia last night + job worries today + ill spouse + arthritis with a side "ohai allergies! Thanks for the hives!" makes for a very erm, introspective girl today. As long as we understand "introspective" to mean I'll have a zantac and loratidine in my cheerios along with the bananananananas..."

[NorCalStud]

PARTY!!!!!!

[NorCalStud]

PARTY!!!!!!breakfast with a doggie park friend! at a bar on Arcata square called the Alibi. Their food is great. Got work today....no regrets on the irish coffee tho.

[~ocean]

hys piercing blue eys ~ hy makes me wait ~ I'm hys to take ~

[TheMerryFairy]

I am wondering if the power is going to go out tonight with all of this crazy weather and where my runny nose came from.

I feel so bright and full of energy today, despite only having a few hours sleep! I am hoping others are feeling this giant burst of energy, although I wouldn't mind if it was kept in my own little floating bubble.

I think the card reading I received the other night really did allow me to re evaluate how I saw all of my decisions, in a wonderful way.

Now I have to consider what I should cook for supper. I had leftover pizza for lunch and there's still a lot left. Will I keep eating it for every meal until it's gone? Should I save some for tonight as a snack, cook something else for my meal and have the rest tomorrow again? You wouldn't think this kind of decision would be so difficult.

[kissinfemme]

Insomnia & how to get myself to sleep. :(

[jcisbutch]

a pair of sweet brown eyes..:seeingstars:

[Talon]

A business proposition..

[spritzerJ]

Last minute work BS. One more "emergency" because folks working on an issue were ignored when they tried to plan ahead and I may blow a gasket. In fact tomorrow is Friday. I may blow one for good measure.

:fastdraq:

[Bard]

going back to work on Sunday as a PSO2 working for a Sgt that I trained when she made CPL she is a good person and a friend this is going to be hard on all of us

[alexri]

Someone special.

Wishing that someone was here.

[cara]

Less than a year ago, I wouldn't dream of eating onions or cucumber or fermented foods. Look at me now!

[Ginger]

My dad, I'm thinking about him, having just hung up the phone from a long conversation where we got out our laptops and he went over the spreadsheet with me that he sent this morning and has been updating since 2009 with his blood levels;

the red and white blood count, the platelets, hemoglobin, nutrophil, etc., and noting changes related to events like his chemo, or the neupogen injections, and switching from this tab to that tab to look at the percentage increases or decreases,

and bottom line—since it seems he is easing into the more acute form of leukemia—he has to decide whether or not he wants to undergo the more intense chemo that would be the treatment for it, or just try to enjoy the two or three months he might have.

And that decision is not numerically based, in the least, but the data makes him feel better, so I hang in there for the analysis, and have flashbacks to sitting at our kitchen table, doing my math homework, and the weary exasperation in his voice, as I struggled to stay focused.

[KCBUTCH]

The gnarly argument I had with my temp. roommates at 2, 3, and 4 in the morning this am.
the are grossly disrespectful- at one point I watched myself being less than how I'd prefer, yelling and angry just fed up to no end,
I guess it was what happens when I hold my frustrations in for weeks and when all other means of trying to get them to honor their signed house rules agreement fails-
I ma glad the law protects people but I am discouraged I cannot just force them to exit. So I have a few more days to wait
I think the biggest things that came from this is I realized the male appears to have an addiction issue (like me) which explains much of the irresponsible and blatant disrespect by him - he seems completely unaware that his behavior of breaking contract time and time again is a problem-It puzzled me for weeks until I noticed his drinking habits to be connected each time

And its a lesson and a half for me- these people are a result of my impulsive roommate choice from fear of financial insecurity at the time and also the lesson that I am human and being angry is ok but I did apologize for the way it came out- I was not proud. but I am human and fallible :)

[GreeneyedMe]

I have been invaded. Every.single.inch.of.my body.hurts.very.very.bad. :watereyes:

[KCBUTCH]

I have been invaded. Every.single.inch.of.my body.hurts.very.very.bad. :watereyes:

:( sorry you are so miserable
sending warm healing energies :tea::gimmehug: hope it helps. feel better

[Gemme]

Little things that mean so much.

[KCBUTCH]

I am currently thinking about the code green at work today. (missing person)
and wondering if it was the guy who climbed the roof threatening to jump or the lady on the sidewalk drinking a pint.

Ahhh what a day! Happy it wasn't ME

OH and really really HAPPY the young man I comforted yesterday - came back today and was also able to get his needs met by seeing his DR which I arranged.
:) that seriously made my day

[laruss]

-My daughters and granddaughters, whom I spent the day with.
-Cleaning.
-Puppies arthritis and his pain.
-New art projects.
-Other new art projects.
-Doctors appointments and questions.
-When will my suv be ready.
-Love the car, but really want the truck back.
-Valentines day plans.
-ice cream

Ok, ice cream wins... I am going to eat some and forget everything else.

[sierragirrl]

another doc appt with a new doc tomorrow mornin
hopefully it is one step closer
skunks and their meanin on the totum poll
very interesting

[KCBUTCH]

another doc appt with a new doc tomorrow mornin
hopefully it is one step closer
skunks and their meanin on the totum poll
very interesting

thinking of you with prayers :) please keep us informed. HUGS HUGS HUGS

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

I wish I could make her feel better right now.
I would take all the pain for her in a heart beat if I could but my girl is stronger then she gives herself credit for! Maybe tomorrow will be better and I know Saturday will be. :rrose:

Now if I could only get some sleep. :cigar2:

[TheMerryFairy]

This insomnia. I am ready to sleep but I just can't get there yet.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

The possiablities that chocalte, strawberries, whip cream, and time can bring

[Talon]

The fact that I was "logged-on" here all night, and didn't even know it...:blink:

[deb0670]

my two oldest kids dad is in the hospital with a failing heart. Apparently, he has had a few heart attacks and now they say that only 20% of his heart is working. They need to do a bypass if they can find enough good tissue. If they are successful with the bypass, the percentage will move up to 25-30% only. He turned 49 last month.
I do not have any special feelings for this man, other than he helped create my kids. There is a lot of bad history, bad, bad history, but none-the-less, I don't wish him harm (anymore.. For like 20 yrs now).
My son has nothing to do with him and vice versa, but I still have to let him know of these kind of things.
I am just glad I am not in my ex's wife's place right now.

[deb0670]

oh yeah.. And..
It is getting really old not havin my own vehicle. I need to make so many spots with drs... And go do stuff..but tired of feeling like I am being an incovinence to people. Even tho.. We have been letting the people who live in our basement stay there rent free since before Christmas cause their finances have not been the greatest.
I want.. No.. Need my independence.

[Talon]

~~~Chasing paper...:greendollar:

[Hollylane]

WARNING: Most likely to include TMI

I'm afraid it is a bit silly, and only a teensy bit objectifying (I feel comfortable with this, since I love the whole person inside and out), but it's her thighs, I can't stop thinking about those gorgeous, well built, butch thighs of hers...Of course, one is flung outside of the comforter right now, distracting me. I think she is antagonizing me, knowingly, even with her eyes closed in sleep.... How cruel. ;) :stillheart:

[G Snap!]

I have an application in through the city for a good job and it is one of those that you have to jump through hoops to get. I have to "self schedule" the next step and nothing is showing up on my application yet to do so. I can't help but sit here and bight my nails in fear I checked a box wrong here or didn't check a box there. Whether they will ever tell me if I checked a box wrong here or didn't check a box there. Or if the fact we got a little "inclement weather" and the human resources person down town just didn't show up for work today to post the scheduling or something. I hate that my life is kind of balancing on wether I get this job or not (even though @ will tell me it's not) and just waiting. Or that the wrongs in my past will for ever interfere with my future. ugh.

OK so I just checked on my application status and it let me "jump through the next hoop" and schedule the next step.

OMG I need a drink...

[dixie]

I just applied for a part-time job at two places. One was Dish Network, which had 115 of the DUMBEST assessment questions I've ever answered. The other, I really really really want. It's for a "world religion/metaphysical" shop in downtown Asheville. I love that shop, and would love to work there. It would be super fun!

[WingsOnFire]

How much my life has changed in a Year. Some things good, some not so good. But everything happens for a reason. I just need to always be patient enough to know what that reason is.

I am excited about the girl they finally hired to help me and that I get to train her my way.

[KCBUTCH]

How much my life has changed in a Year. Some things good, some not so good. But everything happens for a reason. I just need to always be patient enough to know what that reason is.

I am excited about the girl they finally hired to help me and that I get to train her my way.

I so relate-the only thing the same in my life from the last two years is that I survived the changes clean and sober.
Everything else has been rearranged, changed and lost but I guess the good part is the deep amazing lessons that i suppose could not come any other way

Its really insane. Hang in there-

[KCBUTCH]

Is not what's on my mind; its what isn't...........

[Ang]

Knowing that good things lie ahead for me and my health.

[jcisbutch]

plainand simple she is..just her...

[JustLovelyJenn]

What is on my mind right now is money. I hate that stuff. You have to have it for rent, electricity, water, garbage pick up, food, clothing, heat, a vehicle, gas for the vehicle... All of these things I just can't live without. I don't mind not having a lot... I am perfectly content actually without most things... but why is everything I HAVE to have becoming SO DARN EXPENSIVE...

[Sachita]

every day on facebook I see so many wonderful animals up for adoption or ready to be destroyed. It breaks my heart. Last week I gave 100.00 to help move a dog from a kill shelter to a rescue knowing that she was older and may spend the rest of her life in that shelter or worse. I'm so fucking sick of the irresponsibility of humans. The idiot who decides its ok to go get a puppy with a new relationship and then they break up and the dog goes to the pound. So sick of the puppy seekers and assholes who give a dog up because they move or use the fucking excuse "I just don't have time." Well you should have thought about that when you took a living thing into your life.

I am heartbroken lately over the vast amount of neglect I see towards animals. I wish I would win the lotto because i'd damn sure take a major chunk out of this stupid shit.

[TheMerryFairy]

The tears I have cried tonight. For what? I don't know. I wish I had the answer to that. Nerves? Being tired? Wishing? I don't know if I can cry anymore tonight. I will make a pot of tea and wait for this to pass.

[KCBUTCH]

The tears I have cried tonight. For what? I don't know. I wish I had the answer to that. Nerves? Being tired? Wishing? I don't know if I can cry anymore tonight. I will make a pot of tea and wait for this to pass.

sorry your hurting..:(

[TheMerryFairy]

sorry your hurting..:(

Thanks. I don't know what this is. I don't want to sound cliche and say cramps but I am thinking there's just a lot coming out tonight, a change in energy. I am hoping it's a cleanse because this came out of nowhere. I will be alright, I just need to allow myself to come back together.

[KCBUTCH]

Thanks. I don't know what this is. I don't want to sound cliche and say cramps but I am thinking there's just a lot coming out tonight, a change in energy. I am hoping it's a cleanse because this came out of nowhere. I will be alright, I just need to allow myself to come back together.

you can sound anyway you like- if you hurt you hurt the cause is irrelevant
shifting in energy is always hard - I wish you the best at coming back to your center

[TheMerryFairy]

I keep going further and further into myself and pulling out things that I didn't know were sitting there. My temper may also be flaring and it's probably completely invalid as to why.

[WingsOnFire]

I am not sure... But I don't think its a good sign when your toes get a purple look from hanging off the bed. Yep my ankle is still swollen. Time for a visit to the walk in clinic.

[TheMerryFairy]

I have a lot in my head but at the same time I am fluttering with relaxing energy. All good things! There are some good people in there too ;)

[Sun]

I share Sachita's concern for the neglect of animals in our society. There are so many adoptable dogs and cats being killed every day even right now in shelters because selfish owners just dont give a fuck.

These loving beautiful creatures deserve to live and not pay for the stupidity of those who claimed them. To see so many babies killed makes me sick to my core. If any of you can foster or adopt. Please do. Do it today.

[SoulShineFemme]

The challenges I am facing next week and my strong desire to overcome them all.

[jac]

10:30 tomorrow morning...

After looking at a friend's Cathedral pictures she recently took, I'm feeling a little homesick for a morning of sitting through Mass. I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore but still feel attached to it at times. When at the hospital I still say I'm Catholic and would still feel right having a priest come in for my last rights. It was so deeply ingrained into my every fiber growing up that no matter how I say I am not a part of any organized religion, I have moments like this where I desire to be around it. I think the last time I sat through Mass was about 10 years ago. I have no intention to make it a regular thing... and this may very well hold me for another 10 years, but for now I just have a sudden need to be present. To be wittness. To go through the motions. To have that old familiarity. To walk in quietly, sit by myself, attend the service, say all the prayers that I haven't said in forever but would easily say them as if I had never skipped a Sunday, and leave. I don't want to speak to anyone, be recognized or even acknowledged but I know that isn't so. That if nothing else, when it's time to give peace to others it's inevitable or when I walk out to leave the priest will be standing there to see each and every person off and will extend his hand to me. But if this is all I have to do to have an hour or so (depending on how winded the priest is) to get that moment of homecoming, I will. Oh boy do I hope the homily isn't a rant that is going to be a disappointment. Guess we'll see...

[Daktari]

...abundance.

[Bard]

my furkids they are so cuddly jules is on the arm of the couch phoebe on my feet grace is snoozing on the other couch

[TheMerryFairy]

Cuddling, Valentines and how many beer it will take to get me through the game tomorrow. Oh boy.

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Late night randomness...

[JustLovelyJenn]

Family movie night

[LeftWriteFemme]

faD3YF0zhNg

[WingsOnFire]

Wishing I could find my center again. Knowing it will happen just life has taken everything I have to give and depleted it. I lay here all alone with my thoughts wondering what today will bring. This is so different than what I had expected, imagined. there is a reason for everything. I just need to be patient.

[WingsOnFire]

Sleep is eluding me. Guess its time to get up. Maybe the pups will sleep in. That would be nice so I can have some coffee. Lol

[StrongButch]

Nothing today im resting body and mind!

[DamonK]

A mountain of homework.
When I need to leave tomorrow for doctor.
Hopeful outcomes from this.
To do lists.

[TheMerryFairy]

Friends and floating. The rest I can tune out.

[Sun]

When I say to someone "do not contact me" "do not call me every again" or otherwise, leave me alone, they continue to call, contact me and bother me. It is my right to have only healthy people in my life and when someone crosses boundaries with me over and over again, can not respect my life, my wishes or my mind, the door gets closed.

Oddly when a masculine identified person behaves this way to a feminine identified person, this is seen as totally inappropriate, but when a feminine identified person decides to trample all over the boundaries of a masculine identified person, this is ok?

No is No is NO, coming from a femme, butch, man, woman, Transperson, anyone.

[Admin]

When I say to someone "do not contact me" "do not call me every again" or otherwise, leave me alone, they continue to call, contact me and bother me. It is my right to have only healthy people in my life and when someone crosses boundaries with me over and over again, can not respect my life, my wishes or my mind, the door gets closed.

Oddly when a masculine identified person behaves this way to a feminine identified person, this is seen as totally inappropriate, but when a feminine identified person decides to trample all over the boundaries of a masculine identified person, this is ok?

No is No is NO, coming from a femme, butch, man, woman, Transperson, anyone.




Sun-

You've been warned about these types of posts once before. We also have a notice at the top of the page and a TOS prohibiting these types of posts.

You are now on a 2-week time-out for dragging drama into the forums. During that time, you are not to access BFP nor contact any of the Mods or Admins. Failure to comply will result in a permanent ban.

Thanks,
Admin

[Gemme]

I'm a good girl.

:praying:

[TheMerryFairy]

Valentine's Day. It has been a very long time since I've been able to say with confidence that I'm feeling happy enough to celebrate it beyond myself. I love having friends to remind me how beautiful things are.

[WingsOnFire]

He is... always...

Wondering how the training of my new coworker is going to go... She seems very sharp and picks up things quickly..

Glad my cold is slowly letting up... I just might be better soon.. yeah!

Watching Riley the sweet lab and CoCo the bouncing schnauzer sleep while Peppa The Holy Terror beagle stares at me deep in thought... it is those moments I wonder just what she is thinking.. be afraid... very afraid!! my mind says lol...

[jcisbutch]

an old oasis song... theres so many things i would like to say to you but I don't know how...maybe I really do know how but maybe you just aren't ready to hear them....maybe not but hedging my bets is on my mind....:blush:

[little_ms_sunshyne]

WHenever I see this thread title I just want to come in here and type....

Georgia....


soooooo

GEORGIA...


:)

[TheMerryFairy]

I just heard this song from "Peace , Love & Misunderstanding" It was a wonderful movie!!!! I couldn't find a good clip of the song on youtube so I figured I would just share the lyrics. Fantastic musician! I seem to be finding more of those these days.

The Devil's got my secret
By Mieka Pauley

Oh, to take sorrow and use it as a crutch
And have all you need and never know it as such
Oh, to want the warmth of fire and get the burn of its touch
I think about you way too much

The devil's got my secret
He swore he'd never tell
I left it for safe-keeping
I'll pick it up in hell

A match is struck only once, the thought's struck more than twice
Honesty's a virtue that is wavering like a vice
Yeah, it screams in two directions, yeah, it cuts like a knife
I'll think about you all my life

The devil's got my secret
He swore he'd never tell
I left it for safe-keeping
I'll pick it up in hell
I will pick it up in hell

Should I choose the one way, my life goes on
My world's not broken, my home's not gone
Oh, but should I choose the other, so sweet, and wrong
No, I'll think about you, then continue on

The devil's got my secret
He swore he'd never tell
I left it for safe-keeping
And, oh, he keeps it well
The devil's got my secret
He swore he'd never, never tell
I left it for safe-keeping
I'll pick it up in hell
I will pick it up in hell
I will pick it up in hell

[jcisbutch]

titles....

[TheMerryFairy]

an old oasis song... theres so many things i would like to say to you but I don't know how...maybe I really do know how but maybe you just aren't ready to hear them....maybe not but hedging my bets is on my mind....:blush:

I can relate!

[bright_arrow]

Awesome shoulder/back and perhaps a foot massage!
Could be the wine talking :wine:

[DamonK]

Patience.......

[sierragirrl]

Another weekend has come and gone without my landlord doing more of his share to get the skunks out of here he talked the good talk to the trapper on how he is gonna build this thing to go around the trap to keep the skunks from climbing over the trap to get under my house..rent is due..maybe i should charge him 25 bucks a day until the skunks are gone..thats how much i am charged if i am late with my rent a day.
anywho i am taking it in my own hands to build something to block the skunks..i am pretty much beyond pissed.and all he is doin is blowin smoke up my dress..fuker

[StrongButch]

I want mexican food for lunch!

[asphaltcowboi]

I want mexican food for lunch!

ha ha me too!! hmm my girls a mex wonder what time she off work today!

[Leigh]

Thinking about my future

[WingsOnFire]

Last night...

Thoughts I hadn't had before.

Waking up with Bunny and pressing her paw to hear His lullaby.

Today and how I feel. Glad I feel rather than numbness

Wondering how the week will go.

Training my new Coworker is going well so far.

He is... Always..

[Dash]

i have many thoughts, but one in particular is sharing experiences through my eyes

[~ocean]

i have many thoughts, but one in particular is sharing experiences through my eyes

whew dash thought u were gonna use someone else's eyes :)) ~~

[~ocean]

thinking about how easy it is for some ppl to just push you away ~ how can u ever trust ?

[Bèsame*]

thinking about how easy it is for some ppl to just push you away ~ how can u ever trust ?


I agree! They must
do it all the time, to not be effected from it and continue to do so.

[Random]

I'm getting a little cranky with the company that is verifing the last five years of my life...


They couldn't verify that I went to school and do I have anything that proves that I actually went to school? Um no, I toss paperwork after I'm done with it...(I have to watch my hording tendencies)...Ok took three voicemails and two days to get the records person from school to call me back and five mins for her to call the agent and verify that I was was enrolled when I said I was...

ok.. that's it right?


Nope, today I get a email saying I didn't work someplace as long as I said I did and what was I doing for that extra year?

Blink..

So, I find my last paystubs ( I had paystubs going back to 1996.. see what I mean about hording issues) for this job and ask her if those would work..

Nope.. need w2's... Ok.. a lil more of a hunt than paystubs.. Paystubs get put into one trunk.. My 2009 taxes? I don't know... that was the year that Mitmo and I moved in together and I lost my desk.. (Before then the last five years of tax returns lived in the tax return cubby on my desk) I found my taxes from 1995-2007 with no issue...2008 took a little while, 2009? fucking forever... My study looks like a bomb has gone off in it... My 2009 w2's were downstairs with the craft supplies I havent touched since we moved into this house..

So.. I find my w2's for that job and I can't use them... I hand wrote the information in... That was the first year that the company I worked for didn't send out W2's, you had to download them and I was out of ink...

UGHHHHH....

So I call the store, spoke to the manager, he gave me hr's number at corporate, who in turn transfered me payrole and verification.. She verified my dates as the dates I gave and will fax the information to my recruiter...

Oy...

I know that the third pary uses clearning houses and auto websites to do their verifications, and when humans are touching data, mistakes happen... but still...

I'm hoping this is the last one..

If not, I think I should get part of the fee that they pay that third party to verify me...

[KCBUTCH]

my iphone-
I updated it a few days back and the update erased all my music and I get get it to re-sync
My itunes keeps telling me "waiting for changes" when I try to sync it but I have no clue what those changes are. :(
A trip to apple store may be in order!!!!

[MsM]

My future, and the prayers we sent up over the weekend.
The old hurts and fears I'm letting go about childbearing.
My boy, and the tears she dashed away this morning when I was leaving. I keep seeing that lost & lonely little boy staring at me as I drove away. I felt so cruel.
Patience.

[KCBUTCH]

My future, and the prayers we sent up over the weekend.
The old hurts and fears I'm letting go about childbearing.
My boy, and the tears she dashed away this morning when I was leaving. I keep seeing that lost & lonely little boy staring at me as I drove away. I felt so cruel.
Patience.

((((HUGS)))

[starryeyes]

Wondering when my puppy is going to calm down!? I mean, wow.

[TheMerryFairy]

My projects, life in general, shop ideas/promotional ideas, crushes, movie dates and intimacy (especially kissing)

[jac]

How so many blessings were bestowed upon me this 4th day of February 2013.

One things that needs to be tended to asap is showing up as a walk-in first thing in the morning at my doctor's office so I can be seen for conjunctivitis. Nasty ickiness!!
:shithappens:

[Kenna]

...don't let me forget I have dinner in the oven...knowing my mind recently, I'll forget

[TheMerryFairy]

...don't let me forget I have dinner in the oven...knowing my mind recently, I'll forget

Just reminding you that you have dinner in the oven! lol

[jcisbutch]

flying kites on Folly beach...looooong time ago....parallel lives...:moonstars:

[Breezy]

New beginnings.
New perspectives.
Feeling like my sanity has be restored. :)

[Hollylane]

That this is one of my favorite Christmas gifts ever...and it was from Gaige. I hope it never wears out...

http://i46.tinypic.com/20gg0mh.jpg

[bright_arrow]

CIJS I got over my guilt about lunch and a movie [The Hobbit] with a friend tomorrow while the boi will be home, and she just canceled on me.. :|

I am never one to do anything by myself, but am seriously considering going to the library for some books, an iced coffee and then going to see the damned movie by myself! Cause I *really* want to see it, and my only other friend interested in it already saw it.. and we were supposed to go together!

[cara]

desd...i take myself to the movies all the time. i like it. but I suppose doing stuff on your own like that does take some getting used to. if go with ya of we lived closer. :-)

some things on my mind:

is it worth it to consistently make myself available for people who do not consistently make themselves available to me? i'm beginning to think not. even though it's hard to find and make friends in this icy town of mine.

I watched 22 episodes of Once Upon A Time last weekend. I am not pleased with the ending. someone please tell me they didn't cancel this show.

My boss got a card for one of my Co-workers who is about to be a first time father. i'm supposed to pass the card around for signatures from the office. I don't want to. The reason? The picture of the baby on the card is a white baby with blonde hair. The parents to be are a Chinese-American couple. Am I being too sensitive on this? How would it look if I got a different card and passed it around instead? :|

This week needs too be over. Soon. C'mon weekend!

[JustLovelyJenn]

What is on my mind is that I was just passed up for a job... that I have been doing on a temp basis since October... I have no idea why, because everyone I work with has said I am doing an excellent job. SOOO... yeah, they just handed it to someone else. How amazing... back to the drawing board.

[StrongButch]

My buddy Shawn just called and said :Hey im asking Brenda to marry me Friday night! You up for a party at your house. Okay quess im not going away this week-end. (lol) Maybe ill ask someone to marry me too. (j-k)

[Katniss]

My boss got a card for one of my Co-workers who is about to be a first time father. i'm supposed to pass the card around for signatures from the office. I don't want to. The reason? The picture of the baby on the card is a white baby with blonde hair. The parents to be are a Chinese-American couple. Am I being too sensitive on this? How would it look if I got a different card and passed it around instead? :|

This week needs too be over. Soon. C'mon weekend!

I vote go with a different card.....

Katniss~~

[KCBUTCH]

all the cleaning I have to do from temp roommates who gratefully left this morning.
and the meeting I have with Vocational Rehab counselor this afternoon to make a plan to help fund me getting through my BA/MA education. Thanks you state of CA and I guess I can thank my injuries that they are severe enough to qualify me for it
And my new roommate moving in in a few days.. Nice guy

[KCBUTCH]

desd...i take myself to the movies all the time. i like it. but I suppose doing stuff on your own like that does take some getting used to. if go with ya of we lived closer. :-)

some things on my mind:

is it worth it to consistently make myself available for people who do not consistently make themselves available to me? i'm beginning to think not. even though it's hard to find and make friends in this icy town of mine.

I watched 22 episodes of Once Upon A Time last weekend. I am not pleased with the ending. someone please tell me they didn't cancel this show.

My boss got a card for one of my Co-workers who is about to be a first time father. i'm supposed to pass the card around for signatures from the office. I don't want to. The reason? The picture of the baby on the card is a white baby with blonde hair. The parents to be are a Chinese-American couple. Am I being too sensitive on this? How would it look if I got a different card and passed it around instead? :|

This week needs too be over. Soon. C'mon weekend!

I don't think you're being too sensitive- its empathy and consideration

[BoiJen]

Folly Beach, SC???flying kites on Folly beach...looooong time ago....parallel lives...:moonstars:

[TheMerryFairy]

What is on my mind is that I was just passed up for a job... that I have been doing on a temp basis since October... I have no idea why, because everyone I work with has said I am doing an excellent job. SOOO... yeah, they just handed it to someone else. How amazing... back to the drawing board.

I am sure you will come up with something wonderful. Don't let them keep you down, Jennie!

[DamonK]

Homework that is not being cooperative.

[TheMerryFairy]

How do I make everything come together? I know life will guide my direction but there are so many things I need to do in the meantime to get everything going. It will be another long night. I hope I have enough tea.

[BoiJen]

WTH I still see a blank screen when I go into chat?

[DamonK]

A need deep in me.

[Gráinne]

Wouldn't you know it. A couple days ago, I'd ruled out going to Austin for the halfway reunion party. Then yesterday, I found out about a conference for science teachers being held The Week Before...in San Antonio.

The conference would be helpful for teaching ideas and technology training, it's true. OTOH, it's a cost I don't really need to be spending now, it's time away from home, and it's not imperative that I go this year. It would have been nice if the weeks had coincided, even if I was conferencing during the days ;).

[Kelt]

I have a long slow fuse and rarely get angry. If I do it is usually with myself and more like frustration.

There is about one person that I can express that to, and I did today.

It feels wrong to unload like that onto someone who just wants to be empathetic. I really need to keep that to myself. What a way to reward somebody for caring.

:(

You just can't unsay stuff.

[TheMerryFairy]

There is a lot weighing on my mind tonight. I don't know how to process it all. I have been taking in the peaceful morning with a cup of tea, reflecting on everything that has happened in the last 24 hours and I am unsure where life is going to take me.

I am a little in shock, a little nervous and very much confused. I cannot sleep and for the sake of my sanity I am just going to to clean out my things at work and move on.

I have a lot to consider right now. For the last month I have been floating above everything, confident in my decisions, ready to make things happen and have had a smile glued to my face while fluttering in an abundance of vibrant energy.

Tonight I feel the complete opposite. I am still happy and floating but there is a mist creeping up. A storm perhaps? I don't know how to calm it so I guess I am meant to ride it out.

I haven't been myself the last few days. The closer I am to feeling completely free, the more on edge I become.

I daydream, wish and wonder about the experiences I've shared recently and those I will enjoy down the road. I feel shifts everywhere. There are a lot of changes about to take place in my life. I think I am ready? I want to close my eyes and feel my senses soar again.

I will be happy, whatever happens.

I miss so many of of my friends and so many of the things I used to do. I am trying to live my life the way I know is right for me and I want to balance it all with my other desires. Where did things turn? Why did they have to turn this week? How much has really turned and how much is just my perception?

I hope I wake up and the fog will be lifted into the best mood filled with kindness and all of the little things I love, including my crushes.

[Kenna]

why is it that I wake up more tired than what I was when I went to bed

[luv2luvgirls]

why is it that I wake up more tired than what I was when I went to bed

I don't know but that has been happening to me too... so if you find out let me know :cheesy:

[SelfMadeMan]

That I have SO much homework to do, yet here I am sipping coffee and reading threads :)

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

That no matter how hard I tried sleep just did not come. Promises of things I made someone of things I would get accomplished. The pain that the medication of course did not touch. Of course she is as well....is there any wonder I got no sleep again.

[StrongButch]

How lucky I am to live on 5 acres. Im gonna plow soon and grow lots of veggies and berries this year. Thank god im a country boy!

[MaggieBluIze]

Today is a day of doctor appointments.

I was finally able to get a day to do my yearly checkup, go to dentist again (yuck) and then to my Chiropractor.

Can't quit stressing about not being able to find a dermatologist. Did not know that would be so hard. This is the one that is most needed.
*deep breath* That's ok. It will happen. :praying:
I am so thankful I have insurance, just really do not like our new company we are using.
They really seem to be working against you, not with you.

I really wish I had someone to go with me. Can't help it. Just do. :blush:

Oh ... Also going to Apple store to FINALLY fix my iPhone. This has been needed for far too long.

I have to turn in something to my supervisor by tomorrow of things I have accomplished this year ...
Ummmm ... It was a crazy year ... My brain goes blank.
Maybe google will help me with ideas of things supervisors are looking for. It could happen. :)

I will see today as a day of accomplishments, getting things done, taking care of myself.

I can never shut my brain down.
Hopefully getting it all these things done today will finally ease some of the thoughts.

Who knows, I might sleep tonight. That would be good.

Have a great day ...
Thanks for listening to some of what's been on my mind ...
:seeingstars:

Have a great day!!! (f)

[TheMerryFairy]

I still have "sleep" in my eyes, I need to go back to bed. I already got dressed earlier and I want today to be a pajama day in the worst way. The problem is if I get undressed I will have to get dressed again to go to the store later. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll say screw it, skip the grocery store and go to the corner store in my pj pants. I'm only going to get water in case the water system gets shut down in the storm.

I want breakfast. A big breakfast. I wonder if the local diner delivers breakfast? They deliver everything else. I'm too tired to cook, even though I should. *Sigh*

Is it sad this is all my brain is able to process today? It has been such a long week. Once I stop for more then a couple of hours, my exhaustion kicks in and comes to fight off my insomnia. I do believe that is a sign that I needed this break from work before starting the new job.

[StrongButch]

Was 72 yesterday raining today. (wtf) I hope it stops. I am not wanting 60 people in my house tomorrow night for Shawns engagement party. Ill pray like hell it stops raining. (lol)

[Bèsame*]

On my mind...

Listening about this storm coming to the east coast, all the preparing I'm reading here....I've never been stuck in a storm, loss of power, unable to get out. Thinking what an adventure it would be ..just ONE please:)

Maybe a storm chase should come my way....hmmmm

[Lazy Daze]

How very hurtful just a handful of words can be

[PinkieLee]

how much the side effects from this new medication SUCK!

[WingsOnFire]

worried about my ankle that I think I sprained on Saturday. It has a hard knot in it. Hope it isn't fractured. Sigh. Going to have looked at after work.

[WingsOnFire]

Today is a day of doctor appointments.

I was finally able to get a day to do my yearly checkup, go to dentist again (yuck) and then to my Chiropractor.

Can't quit stressing about not being able to find a dermatologist. Did not know that would be so hard. This is the one that is most needed.
*deep breath* That's ok. It will happen. :praying:
I am so thankful I have insurance, just really do not like our new company we are using.
They really seem to be working against you, not with you.

I really wish I had someone to go with me. Can't help it. Just do. :blush:

Oh ... Also going to Apple store to FINALLY fix my iPhone. This has been needed for far too long.

I have to turn in something to my supervisor by tomorrow of things I have accomplished this year ...
Ummmm ... It was a crazy year ... My brain goes blank.
Maybe google will help me with ideas of things supervisors are looking for. It could happen. :)

I will see today as a day of accomplishments, getting things done, taking care of myself.

I can never shut my brain down.
Hopefully getting it all these things done today will finally ease some of the thoughts.

Who knows, I might sleep tonight. That would be good.

Have a great day ...
Thanks for listening to some of what's been on my mind ...
:seeingstars:

Have a great day!!! (f)

hugs to my sissy! Sounds like an eventful day. Do you blog or write down or email your boss during the year to maybe give you ideas of what to turn into your boss? Maybe write down things you did that might then spark some memories. Did you write about any of them here?

Good luck

[JustLovelyJenn]

files, records, lists, organization... and upcoming appointments

[dixie]

The phone tag finally paid off. I have an interview next Thursday with one of the local behavioral health centers. I am excited about this because if I get it, not only will it be some decent money but also an enjoyable job. Plus, it it part-time (Tue-Fri) and will not interfere with my photography. Wooooooooo! I just wish the interview wasn't a week away. I would much prefer getting in and wowing them with my awesomeness lol ;)

Keep your fingers crossed, because I really want this job!

[SelfMadeMan]

Starting a 12 week learning program through Mayo Clinic that will end in my being scheduled for gastric sleeve surgery :)

[MaggieBluIze]

hugs to my sissy! Sounds like an eventful day. Do you blog or write down or email your boss during the year to maybe give you ideas of what to turn into your boss? Maybe write down things you did that might then spark some memories. Did you write about any of them here?

Good luck

OMG Sissy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, I haven't!!! I will from now on!!
Thank you so much for the idea.
I cannot believe I never thought of that on my own. :seeingstars:
Next year's evaluation will be full of things, thanks to you and your idea!!
((((((((((huggles))))))))))

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

The conversation I had tonight.
Music old and new
Not being able to text my babygirl makes for a worried guy!
This time last year.
She is and the smile she put there.
Oh did I say she is of course....

[StrongButch]

Time to make some changes!

[WingsOnFire]

The conversation I had tonight.
Music old and new
Not being able to text my babygirl makes for a worried guy!
This time last year.
She is and the smile she put there.
Oh did I say she is of course....

Not having a connection with You is driving me crazy!! i love You baby...

i am so glad i can put a smile on Your face.. always..

i miss You like crazy not having contact sucks!

[DamonK]

I wish I could touch her. I need to feel her close.

[WingsOnFire]

What is on my mind...

Wishing my SAD wasnt rearing its ugly head... and wishing more that the sun would shine soon.

Hating that my phone is dead and i have not heard from Him since before my nap.. Yahoo messenger doesnt help when He isnt logged in :(

The fact that Peppa is finally sleeping. She is once again in heat and driving me nuts.. yes I know.. she should have been fixed by now. Trust me! It will happen before the next heat!

Wanting life to settle down again. I dont like feeling like my world is spinning out of control. I know that is the depression and that it will be ok... It is just hard sometimes to deal with my high pressure job and life when it is out of control. I miss my therapist in Missouri really badly right now. She was so helpful with my SAD.

[AzAshburn]

I wish that I could tell her the truth but I know that I just couldn't...If she only knew...

[clay]

learning that sticks grunt....okkkkkkaaayyyyyyy:seeingstars:

[MissItalianDiva]

The tick tock of the clock...really tonight feels like it is on pause

[TimilDeeps]

greasy grimy gopher guts

[Jean_TX]

What's on my mind? Regrets -

I regret that I didn't sell my shares of Gateway before the "dot-com" bust.

I regret that I never asked my father (now deceased) what his father was like. Was he warm and friendly? Did he have a sense of humor? Was he a happy man?

I regret that a recent relationship that had so much potential to be "the one" never came to pass.

I regret that it is 5am and I am sitting in front of my computer.

[~ocean]

Goobers or Raisinettes ? ~~~~ :))))))))

[Trev]

Goobers or Raisinettes ? ~~~~ :))))))))

Raisinettes definitely!

[TimilDeeps]

caterpillars . . . I know, right?

[StrongButch]

Think im gonna give my mind a rest.

[CA_BabyCakes]

Taking a vacation soon...... thinking I wanna go somewhere snowy!

[TheMerryFairy]

What is on my mind?

I still need to order more tea, project design, cooking, daydreams about crushes, this snow, what to wear for the first day of work and how to possibly get myself okay enough to attempt to watch more than two minutes of the creepy "walking dead".

I am sure there is a lot more going on in there but my energy is full of flutter today so I am just in a state of floating.

[Hollylane]

Gaige seems more alarmed by the possibility of me having coffee breath, then she is by the bloody piece of meat I'm holding in the Walking Dead Thread (she thought that was sexy). :|

[JustLovelyJenn]

I have noticed recently... that I go through stages of time when my thoughts do not flow as easily into words. I stop talking so much them... I spend a lot of time in my head and sometimes forget about the rest of the world... I never really thought about it before. I'm not depressed, or upset.... I'm just content to be in my head for a time...

I hope that my head time doesn't make any one worry...

[TheMerryFairy]

I have a lot happening in my mind lately. I too can get lost inside and then emerge again open to share all of the thoughts that have been fluttering around.

[bkisbutchenuff]

The universe always answers....sometimes not what I expect nor want ..... But accepted. I am so grateful for all I have....

[MaggieBluIze]

I just spent an amazing day with my precious grand baby Aimee.
I miss her and my sweet daughter so very much.
I ache for them always.
I want more time with them.
I will find a way to get more time with them, both.
I love them so very much.
:praying::praying::praying::praying::praying:

[luv2luvgirls]

whats on my mind should stay in my mind dirty thoughts :blink:

[grenade]

Hoping all goes well for a special delivery.

[Leigh]

Finding a new job, going back to the gym asap and figuring out where my life needs to go from here.

[starryeyes]

Wondering how the heck I got so lucky in finding the woman of my dreams, in a chat room. We have our ups and downs, but she is amazing and I know I will never find anyone like her again. I love you, hunnie!! <3

[DamonK]

A lot of stuff.

Homework.
Chores to accomplish.
Her.

[Ginger]

I offered to drive out there tonight but I guess no response means she is in over her head, and someone outside the family might feel like interference.

[MaggieBluIze]

I have to get my bottom wisdom teeth out. :toothache:
Was told because I work in a call center that has high non stop call volume, I have to take a week off.
I don't have a weeks worth of time I can take off,
other than time I have for 1/2 Reunion and Reunion.
*pout*
I don't want to miss either, but really need my wisdoms out.
Yeah, I'll have this heavy on my mind along with the $1200 :confused: it takes to get this done. :seeingstars:
:deepthoughts:

[jac]

That this day be over with already!!

Life, 1
Me, 0

[TheMerryFairy]

I am thinking about some very wonderful friends, putting on another pot of tea, decisions to make about these projects and the walking dead,still.

I really wish I knew exactly why one person in particular enjoys it so much. She has me curious. This can either be really good for me or really bad for my sleep.

[DamonK]

If I recall correctly, according to Arwen, my horoscope said something about taking risks.

Well, I did.

[Hollylane]

About Mondays (when we have to leave our comfy little virtual havens and return to work) in general....

_O1hM-k3aUY

[VintageFemme]

Finally.... the tomorrows & the somedays. They're here.

[DamonK]

I'm going to concede defeat for the night.

I got about 75 definitions done out of the 150-200 I have to do. I also turned in 2 projects and got about half of another project done.

Considering how today went, that was quite an accomplishment. Hopefully, tomorrow will result in more being accomplished.

[Niece28]

Moving on, healing, and making a new path in life for myself.

[Italianboi]

is time for me to do serious thinking and get all ready to start my new "adventure"...:deepthoughts:

[~ocean]

when a family member worries more about money than their own health :(

[StrongButch]

People and their silly egos. What a waste of time!

[peachy]

how to make an igloo was on my mind in bed last night and I have been thinking about it today too.

[WingsOnFire]

Time spent together last night even though frenzied at times...

Knowing that what i want will come with time... and patience...

Time we will spend together this weekend for Valentines...

Time yet to come...

[KCBUTCH]

thinking about how difficult divorce can be when your trying to move on and there are constant reminders. things others say, things I hear and see. Things that used to make me beam with Love and now make me sigh deeply and tear up.
But each day is better than the next

[JustLovelyJenn]

They say blood is thicker then water... well, not if i add jello... just sayin...

[MaggieBluIze]

So very much ...
I am in overload ...
Hmmmmmmm ...
That usually means no sleep.

[KCBUTCH]

So very much ...
I am in overload ...
Hmmmmmmm ...
That usually means no sleep.

Take a breathe my sweet friend...The universe will take care of the rest.
HUGS for you always.

[jac]

With so much going on these days I totally didn't realize that today is Fat Tuesday... whaaaaat? :blink:

No wonder the kids (mine) wanted me to watch the babies for them tonight... duh!! It's just not possible with my shift and having to be at work in the morning too. I hate it that they don't get breaks and that I cannot be there for them when they ask for them.

Anyway, Happy Mardi Gras everyone!!
http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/3291/81906331.png

[MaggieBluIze]

Take a breathe my sweet friend...The universe will take care of the rest.
HUGS for you always.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
http://th123.photobucket.com/albums/o309/limabeanlover/th_hugs_to_you.gif
*deep breath*

[WingsOnFire]

My journey here to Oregon almost a year ago and what the next year will bring..

My new coworker and how very happy I am with her as a partner....

Peppa who is whimpering in her sleep... I bet she is chasing rabbits...

[StrongButch]

My Dad and my life. No one can replace him we had a special bond and love for each other. He taught me respect,honor and loyalty. I carry his teaching with me everyday.

[WingsOnFire]

There is a lot on my mind. I wish it would shut off sometimes.

[JustLovelyJenn]

There are many things on my mind right now, but the most previlent is how to get my new work space organized and start working on several new projects I have in mind.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

A year ago and the pain attached to it.

Trying desperately not to think about it.

[TheMerryFairy]

There are many things on my mind right now, but the most previlent is how to get my new work space organized and start working on several new projects I have in mind.

Good luck to you! I feel the same *S I have so many projects going on - big and small and trying to organize has been going well but it's not where I would like it to be.

[deb_U_taunt]

I have so many things running through my brain right now!

Making a list of artsy hippy clothes for Burning Man and what I might need to add to my BM wardrobe.

Decorating goggles and finishing up the paint job on my boots.

Making contacts to decide which camp we will camp at.

OH MY

[TheMerryFairy]

There is so much on my mind!

Projects, my day at work, little tokens of my affection, being invited out to a night of wonderful food, jazz and dancing this Saturday etc.

I guess what is truly on my mind is being able to stop and think clearly about my life. How happy I am. How much confidence has stuck since I have made my NYE resolutions.

It's only been a short time and already I see how far along I have floated.

[DMW]

DIET COKE = Aspartame = Formaldehyde = The C word.
Donald Rumsfeld and Searle and Monsanto


Makes me Angry

[dixie]

Escape....a vacation is looking even better right about now.

[TimilDeeps]

. . . and that's why we wear hardhats.

[WingsOnFire]

He is... as always... wishing i could do more... knowing He know i am always there for Him...

[KCBUTCH]

Listening to my new roomie kiss the dog...and giggle and laugh

[justkim]

Can someone tell me why baby dolls must be nekkid? Yep, according to my grand daughter baby must be nekkid or there is a meltdown of epic proportions...
I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact she loves to be nekkid...
I love this part of my day... well any moment when she is physically around me and when she isn't she is in my heart... ALWAYS...

[TheMerryFairy]

My friends, these delicious chocolate chip cookies and the song "four letter words" It started off meaning something and ended up meaning twice as much.

[Random]

I REALLY don't have to be friends with people just because we are in the same class.

Monday was the first day to class and I went in at full steam...

Anyone who has ever seen a gemini work a room at full energy knows that it is very rare for people not to have a lovely time...

I went in on full dial for a couple reasons...

To unify a class where former classes had cliqued off very fast.. (small classes, only six or seven people) I had heard from people in the class before me that the trainer had a tendency to reinforce the cliquing by making more of people with med training and sort of not paying attention to people..

I didn't want to experience that... Everyone has strengths and weakness and we all can learn from each other...

The other reason was, I was trying to unisolate myself... I generally don't pay too much attention to my coworkers.. I don't facebook them, I don't exchange phone numbers... Don't really encourage them getting to know me outside of work... I generally eat lunch by myself, go sit in my car at break time... Don't socialize while at work very much...

I find that I'm not lonely by myself, but often find myself feeling lonely when in a group of people....

So...Monday was all high energy, went to lunch with a coworker, gave another one my phone number and offered a ride if needeed(poor lady, her car broke down on the way to work) spoke to everyone, listened to their stories, offered my own... bla.. bla.. bla

Tuesday... Not so high energy.. I had a ocd trigger over med terms... You hand me a paper with a bunch of acronyms on them with no reference paper, no ability to google anything and make it a competion? I'm going to have a bit of an internal melt down... I'm smart, I'm fairly competive and I'm excellent at research... Want to help me feel powerless, stupid and worthless? Don't give me or don't allow me access to the tools I need to answer questions or figure out problems.. Doesn't matter to me if this is just the beginning and you don't expect everyone to know the answer.. I need to be able to feel like I am doing something besides just waiting for other people to answer...

I still socialized and talked to everyone, but I noticed something... The women in the class (there is only one guy and he is very quiet) seem to only want to talk about their kids, husbands/boyfriends, how hard they have to work, how smart and good their kids are (but at the same time saying things like...*oh she is just livid that I'm not going to be able to pick her up from school, her dad always makes her wait.. oh she was telling me I didn't need highlighters because she really wanted two pair of new shoes)

Then I did something that separated myself from the coworker that I went to lunch with the day before... Three of us were outside at lunch and one of my coworkers said we needed to get together and have a girls night... one of them said... You can complain to us about Michele.

I said, I don't do that... I don't gossip and I don't trash talk my partner... If she pisses me off, then I tell her and she either fixes it or we talk about it and I have to learn to deal with it...

*Crickets*

Apparently this is not how it's done...

Apparently you do everything for your family and let them walk all over you and then bitch to your girlfriends about it...

Blink...

Seriously... One woman is still working her overnight job, doing full time training and said today.. *I hope my husband doesn't txt me to drive out to millard and help him with the invoices... I really need to get a couple hours sleep before going to work tonight*

Blink...

So... the rest of the day, no one talked to me too incredibly much, no one included me in break time conversations.. I felt othered and lonely...

So I had to have a conversation with myself... (after coming home and googling the shit out of those med terms... I even had the answers today that some of them didn't... not that they believed me, but I felt vindicated when the teacher confirmed my answers were correct)

Why did it bother me to be singled out/othered/not included?

Herd mentality? wanting to belong?

Yes.....

I wanted, for once, not to be the odd one, not the strange one...

But the truth is, I am odd and I am strange... I have different ideas, I want to talk about different things... I accepted this about myself years and years ago...

Why did it bother me that I wasn't included in their conversations, when they weren't talking about anything I wanted to talk about...

Why didn't I want to talk about what they were talking about?

The answer to that one came like a lightbulb.... These women were validating themselves through their husbands and their kids and how much they sacrified for their kids, husbands, ect.... Not just bragging on them a bit..they didn't talk about themselves, about anything they loved or what made them tick...

I don't do that... I brag on my girl and I brag on my son, but who they are, what they do doesn't have anything to do with me... Their accomplishments are their accomplishments...

I was the only one during introductions who didn't meantion my partner, my kid or our animals... I talked about who I was and why I was there...

Reality check... a couple years ago, I decided that I wasn't going to do the friends just to have friends... That I wanted connection, commonality and real... or nothing at all...

So... Today... I chatted casually with my coworkers but didn't go out of my way to be included .... I went to break on my own instead of waiting for everyone to go out... I ate my lunch and read my book in my car, like I've been doing most of the last 10 yrs...

I didn't feel isolated, I didn't feel excluded and I did not feel lonely at all...

I tried something different and it didn't work..

I'm ok with that...

[StrongButch]

I want to be left alone and mean it!

[clay]

Building friendship......so important to lay solid foundation. Yes...that is all...:)....:sunglass:

[WingsOnFire]

How I so wish the sun would shine. I need it desperately. How fragile life is and how quickly it fades away with age, poor health, disease. I want to start taking better care of myself. Realizing I am 44 and have let so much in my life get out of hand. Wanting to begin anew and start out with a fresh Outlook this year.

[Daktari]

Consequences
Copd
Decreasing lung function
Regret
Forgiveness
Stoicism
Acceptance

[Kätzchen]

SBOtj1RmaUE

[deb_U_taunt]

spending a week with no outside world access
no cell or internet!

[DamonK]

Class tonight.

[GreeneyedMe]

One decision. One answer. It's all I need to move forward....when will it come....soon....I hope:praying:

[TheMerryFairy]

My crushes. I spent most of the day in my daydreams and since I always give myself an extra bit of self love today, I hit the lingere store. I just browsed but it felt so good!

I am thinking about my day, decisions I made, lessons learned and love shared.
I don't have expectations on where my life will lead but I know where I want to set my sights. I can almost see it from where I've pitched my tent in this amazing spot.

[starryeyes]

Watching the news of the people on the Carnival Triumph. Ugh, being that I work on cruise ships, I can't imagine.... They are taking forever to disembark. Those passengers have patience!!!!

[WingsOnFire]

Lying here trying to sleep and unable to. So much running through my mind. Just want it to shhhhh for a bit. Looking forward to a rope class tomorrow and dinner plans with a coworker possibly next week.

Riley laying with her head on my foot the warmth from her body relaxing mine. I so love that dog. She helps me when I feel lonely. she is such a sweet sensitive baby.

[cinnamongrrl]

How I so wish the sun would shine. I need it desperately. How fragile life is and how quickly it fades away with age, poor health, disease. I want to start taking better care of myself. Realizing I am 44 and have let so much in my life get out of hand. Wanting to begin anew and start out with a fresh Outlook this year.

To quote the great Led Zeppelin, "there's still time to change the road you're on...." :)

[WingsOnFire]

The step in the right direction I just took scheduling an appt with our Employee Assistance Program....

[deb0670]

i know I said I wouldnt post any more negative stuff... On the Planet.. But.. I just can't help it.. My step dad heard from his drs and found out the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes and he has to endure 4 rounds if chemo before they can do surgery to remove it.
My mom is scared and trying to be strong.. I am so far away from he and I can't be there to be her strength... Sighs.

[starryeyes]

Owning a business is rough, especially when you depend on "slow pay" clients. It has been over 7 weeks since my last invoice was paid, with lots of money outstanding. I LOVE my career, I love working as an independent contractor, but this not getting paid and working my ASS off is just about ready to break me. I have a side business that never came to fruition, but I am looking at it now as a means to be 100% self-sufficient instead of working through freelance agencies. Even though I would still be depending on clients to pay, I could set stricter standards and do the follow-up myself. Since I am off today, I am going start brainstorming new marketing strategies.

Here's to hoping!!! :)

[Fancy]

Happy Birthday Susan B. Anthony.

:birthday:

[StrongButch]

Pictures I just took.

[Leigh]

someone special is and has been all morning : D

[TheMerryFairy]

There are so many things on my mind!

Aside from the constant happy state of daydreaming I am thinking of business ideas, current projects, organizing - and how to possibly do it all, markets and promotion, chocolate, work, what to wear to go out tomorrow evening, how greatful I am for my friends and the wonderful gifts I received yesterday and finally that this red currant tea is so darn good!

Back to this organizing thought. Maybe I need to get rid of more stuff at the flea market before I can honestly take a reasonable look at how to compile everything to organize and pack?

Since the kitchen is already finished I can feel guilt free about going about my day and cooking.

[DamonK]

How the same phrase can mean two different things.

Never understood that til now.

[TheMerryFairy]

I am wondering what I can watch tonight. I still have a pile of movies to get through and netflixland to browse.

[Gemme]

How the same phrase can mean two different things.



Let's eat, Grandma.

Let's eat Grandma.

Verrrrry different meanings.

[Dash]

i'm home sweet home for 3 days, then off to the midwest area for 4 days. then i'm home and off for 10. i need some R&R

[cinnamongrrl]

Wayyy too much on my mind. My heart is hurting over work tonight... I'm so muddled in my head right now. I was exhausted to begin with. I want to get some decent sleep tonight and look at everything in the clear light of day...

[VintageFemme]

Certain people have said that the world is like a calm pond, and that anytime a person does even the smallest thing, it is as if a stone has dropped into the pond, spreading circles of ripples further and further out, until the entire world has been changed by one tiny action.

― Lemony Snicket

[Little Fish]

I'm meeting Her family this weekend for the first time.
And the dog too.
Mostly worried about the dog.
A little nervous about the parents.
But mostly the dog.

[DamonK]

Let's eat, Grandma.

Let's eat Grandma.

Verrrrry different meanings.

Sometimes I wonder about you....
And sometimes I burst out laughing....
Then I wonder about you some more....

*shakes head, muttering, "she obviously ain't ever met my grandma. My grandma would talk someone's head off before she ever got eaten.... She would probably piss em off too...."

[Jrio91]

What's on my mind?

Having feelings for someone who will not/cannot return those feelings SUCKS! I've never really been in this situation. It hurts. :/


Ugh.....snuggles? lol

[DamonK]

I SHOULD have been doing homework.
I did NOT do homework.
Instead... I went off into a fantasy world for awhile...

[Angeltoes]

It's late so hopefully I can make sense....my soon-to-be ex is trying any way he can to turn my kids away from me so he can pay less child support.... some father he is. He tells everyone how much he loves his kids then he tells them how horrible I am with his crazy lies. He manipulates my poor, innocent little boys who have been though so much. He pushes the idea that "mommy is bad".....and it's all because I'm gay. If I were dating a male he'd be jealous but keep a distance. He thinks he has the right to mock my relationships and that I should feel shame about being gay. Whatever! All this hurts my kids so much that it makes me want to claw his eyes out at the very least.

He had me thinking I would fail at my job because he expected me to fail. But, guess what? 4 strong months later and I'm doing better all time.

I know for a fact that he tries to hook up with old female friends who have kids and get them to meet my kids!!! HE was the one who specifically said we should not allow significant others to meet our children until the relationship has lasted at least a year. I guess he thinks the rule doesn't apply to him only to me because I'm gay.


Anyway, this is probably a lot rambling because I did take a (prescribed) sleeping pill and need to sleep. I need to talk to Lambda Legal for advice. I'm exhausted at this point. As much as I love Boise, I'd like Todd to run away with his GF and her 3 kids while I live in a hut somewhere near the beach in Costa Rica with my kids. That would be heaven!

[KCBUTCH]

-School beings in a few days, as expected I've already begun reading for one class- Cultural Anthropology too awesome last semester of General ED :)
-Headed to my folks today to visit before school gets going Me and My DOG
-MK
-piercing retainers for work
-trail mix
-And if I am not around as often -its busy I am busy with school Not to worry

[dixie]

- 7.2 miles
- unworthiness/failure/not being good enough
- bitter cold hearts
- distance
- joy
- the unknown
- dark auras
- profound meaning
- a new day

[TimilDeeps]

Practice safe lunch, use a condiment.

[jac]

It bugs me to no end when a person gets spooked out on the streets and the first thing they want to do is purchase mace. Seriously, if you have never used the stuff or have no clue what you are doing with it, it can become your worst nightmare.

I just had a friend post on FB that she was getting some, etc, etc, etc...
As i told her, if the winds are slightly off or the other person turns your aim back on yourself, you are then rendered even more helpless than had you never pulled it out to begin with. Not only does mace affect the eyes, once inhaled it attacks the lungs. I saw the results from a cop friend that had his can reversed on him. He was in the hopsital for a lengthy amount of time because of damage to his lungs... not to mention the attack he recieved from the person he was attempting to spray.

If you use the stuff... like any other weapon... know what you're doing before attempting to use it as a means of defense. Please and thank you.

My public service announcement for the day... :blink:

[cinnamongrrl]

I can't seem to stop wanting to cry....and yet I can't let myself..

[DamonK]

Bankruptcy.... (current chapter in law)
Conversation from last night
New awakening from new realization
Her

[Trev]

Eventually......