What is on your mind

[clay]

I have a friend who does a lot of buying and selling on line. I spoke to them about a couple of boxsets of baseball cards I have left over from the store that I would like to sell. They were like "Yeah we can split the price of the sale.". Am I wrong to be put off by that response? I was just looking for information and help and was not planning on paying them $100+ for some information. Am I wrong to be upset?

You absolutely have a right to be upset. Presumptious of them......harrruuummmppphhh...F.O.....lol

[Bèsame*]

I bought a new phone today. Let's just say, I hate the break it in and find stuff stage. Like I'm gonna remember every password???

Lol

[GeorgiaMa'am]

I bought a new phone today. Let's just say, I hate the break it in and find stuff stage. Like I'm gonna remember every password???

Lol

May I ask, what kind did you buy? and are you pleased with it? I have to buy a new one soon.

[Gemme]

I have a friend who does a lot of buying and selling on line. I spoke to them about a couple of boxsets of baseball cards I have left over from the store that I would like to sell. They were like "Yeah we can split the price of the sale.". Am I wrong to be put off by that response? I was just looking for information and help and was not planning on paying them $100+ for some information. Am I wrong to be upset?

As clay said, presumptive.

Collectibles can bring in good money so they are definitely expecting some sort of kickback or payout. You can do research yourself. Check Ebay and other collectible sites to see what the market is for those cards, decide how to sell them (it might be more lucrative to separate some of them from the set) and post the sales. All of these processes can be easily found through Google searches or YouTube videos. The question is the time. It's likely to be time intensive and, giving the person the benefit of the doubt, that's what they are most likely considering when mentioning splitting the sales.

Maybe another conversation with them, explicitly laying out how they might factor into the situation? Ex: I can sell the sets myself. I'm just looking for a little guidance to get started in the process. Would you be willing to donate your time to go over that with me for a few minutes? Or, ask them directly what they are thinking.

I'm a blunt person myself, so regardless of how you approach this with the person, clarification on both sides is key. Good luck!

[Bèsame*]

https://i0.wp.com/stevekeating.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/decisions.jpg?fit=788%2C859&ssl=1/

[Bèsame*]

I've been going thru my Mom's stuff. Now I'm realizing all the memories she was holding on too. Now it's going to be me holding on.

https://adirondackgirlatheart.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/a-cool-collectible-cookbooks-part-i_antique-handwritten-recipe-books-15-900x652-1.jpg

[GeorgiaMa'am]

I've been going thru my Mom's stuff. Now I'm realizing all the memories she was holding on too. Now it's going to be me holding on.



What a coincidence - my sister just gave me all of my mom's scrapbooks. We didn't even know she was a scrapbooker. It's all from her younger days, before I was born. I want to go through them thoughtfully, giving them the attention they deserve, but I just haven't been able to open one yet. I still miss her too much . . .

[Stone-Butch]

I had given most of my moms stuff to my nieces when she passed but I did find a few pics and letters she had written to me. I also found a letter postcard from my grandmother to her sister. I can see you two also miss your mothers. My mother breathed in and I breathed out, far too close as mom and daughter and also friends and confidents. Every day she is in my mind and missing her can hardly say how I feel.

[Kätzchen]

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/67/b6/e8/67b6e8519861997e1ed69d5b27b6d163.jpg

[Orema]

Removing Books From Libraries Often Takes Debate. But There’s a Quieter Way.

By Elizabeth Harris, New York Times

Weeding, or culling old, damaged or outdated books, is standard practice in libraries. But in some cases it is being used to remove books because of the viewpoint they express.

https://i.postimg.cc/43FCSVLW/03-BOOKBAN-WEEDING-vtqz-jumbo.jpg (https://postimages.org/)
Two lawsuits have recently taken up weeding. The practice allows librarians to keep collections current, but some have argued that it has been used in some instances to remove books for their content.Credit...Nam Y. Huh/Associated Press

Thousands of books have been removed from schools and libraries over the past several years, often accompanied by stormy public meetings and acrimonious debate. But there is a quieter way books have been pulled from libraries — a process called weeding.

The practice is standard for librarians, a regular part of keeping their collections current. Traditionally, weeding involves removing books that are damaged, out of date or haven’t been checked out in a long time. This makes room for new editions and titles that are of more interest to the community.

Now, three years into surge in challenges and removals of books from libraries, weeding is sometimes being used to remove books because of the viewpoint they express or the story they tell. The issue is now working its way through the court system.

Advocates say that, increasingly, administrators and library board officials are using this approach to avoid the public spectacle of formally pulling them because of their content.

“When you remove a book because you believe it’s critical race theory, or portrays L.G.B.T.Q. lives or because you believe it’s too vulgar,” said Deborah Caldwell-Stone, Director of the American Library Association’s Office for Intellectual Freedom, “that’s not weeding. That’s censorship.”

In recent years, the number of books that have been restricted or removed has surged around the country, fed in part by conservative organizations, lists of books that circulated on social media and state laws that have decided what kinds of books are appropriate for children.

Those in favor of restricting access to certain titles say they are trying to protect children from encountering difficult, inappropriate or sensitive topics while they are alone in the library, or at school without guidance from their parents. Those who oppose these restrictions say libraries should represent a wide range of viewpoints.

Usually, removing a book from a school or library because of its content requires a process. That can include extensive public notice and input as well as board meetings, which can get volatile and heated.

Weeding, on the other hand, is part of the day-to-day work of maintaining a collection. Librarians do this largely on their own, though most libraries have weeding policies and criteria to help guide the choices.

One common standard is called “MUSTIE,” which stands for Misleading, Ugly (damaged or worn out), Superseded (by a newer edition), Trivial, Irrelevant (to the community) and Elsewhere (meaning the material could easily be found someplace else).

The work is essential to keep collections in good shape. Caldwell-Stone of the library association said that librarians never know what they’re going to find when they go into a library’s book return drop box — and generally, they try to sort through it while wearing gloves. She was once told that a book was returned with a strip of bacon pressed between the pages as a book mark. That book, for example, had to go.

Two lawsuits have recently taken up the practice, and how it is being used.

According to a suit filed in federal court this year, officials in Nassau County, Florida removed or restricted access to 36 books in its public school library after members of an organization called Citizens Defending Freedom said they were inappropriate for children. County officials said they removed most of the books because they violated a state obscenity law.

Three of those books did not go through the usual process, according to Lauren Zimmerman, a partner at Selendy Gay, and one of the lawyers who filed the case. Instead, they were weeded. Among them was a picture book called “And Tango Makes Three,” about a penguin family with two penguin dads.

The district said it weeded its only copy of “Tango” because of a “lack of circulation,” the lawsuit said. But according to court documents, it had been checked out at least five times in the previous five years, while thousands of other books in the district’s public libraries that had not been checked out at all during that period were not removed.

The other weeded books were “Ghost Boys,” about racism in the United States, and “Almost Perfect,” a coming-of-age story about a high school romance involving a transgender student, according to the court documents.

The Nassau County case settled last month and all three books will go back on the shelves, along with 21 others. The remaining 12 books will be available for checkout to students who are at least 18 years old, or who have permission from their parents. A lawyer representing Nassau County did not respond to requests for comment.

“It took generations of work by countless individuals for books like ‘Tango’ to make it onto shelves of libraries,” said Justin Richardson, one of the authors of “And Tango makes Three,” who was a plaintiff in the lawsuit. “We’re simply not going to sit by and let them take them off.”

Another instance where weeding has landed in court is a case that began in Llano County, Tex. and is now in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit. According to court documents, public library officials removed 17 books, including “Caste,” by Isabel Wilkerson, which is about race in the United States, and “It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health,” by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley, which has illustrations of sex and masturbation.

County officials said those books were weeded. Lawyers for Llano County have asked the court to reverse a 29-year-old precedent on the issue. They’ve argued that while none of these books were removed because of their content or viewpoint, library officials have the right to do so. Removing books is not a violation of patrons’ rights, the lawyers argued, because the government is not obligated to supply books in the first place. The government is not allowed to stop you from accessing books, but it doesn’t have to help.

This summer, a three-judge panel ruled, in a split decision, that books could not be removed based on their viewpoint. But a few weeks later, the Fifth Circuit made an unusual choice: It would rehear the case, this time in front of the full court. Oral arguments took place last month, and a decision is expected in several months.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/08/books/book-ban-library-weeding.html

[nhplowboi]

I was just watching The View when an ad came on that said the content might be disturbing....?! Damn straight it was!! It was put out by presidential candidate Randal Terry of the Constitutional Party. The notification said the images might be too graphic and the FCC said they were required by law to air the commercial. Multiple photos of dead fetuses. I understand you are anti-abortion but that commercial should never have been aired. If I had a kid home sick from school and they saw that commercial I would be livid. You made your point but I hope it ends up costing you a lot of $$$. Oh and it doesn't escape me you ran the commercial on a show highly watched by women. What a piece of garbage you are!

[Kätzchen]

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71svzg6E7UL._AC_UF894,1000_QL80_.jpg

https://cdn.britannica.com/37/175337-131-2F590BB0/scene-A-Boy-Named-Charlie-Brown.jpg

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/lnkAAOSwwMdi-pZh/s-l1200.jpg

https://curioandco.com/cdn/shop/articles/2011_12_20_Charlie_Brown_Christmas_WEB1400_1399x.p ng?v=1537658460

[Bèsame*]

https://cdn.quotesgram.com/img/74/13/396626697-90d7609462e5f52ce8827260ebe32241.jpg

[Bèsame*]

https://symbolismandmetaphor.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/black-crow-symbolism.png

A crow was in my side garden. I was able to get close and it never flew away. I smiled. My Mom always thought when a crow came to visit it was my Dad.

I have been reflecting on how hard these past few months have been. It's time to go forward and be my best self again.

[Stone-Butch]

I have a ceramic crow on my bookcase. When our mom died I decieded to do a ceremony for the freeing of the souls. It is to allow those who have passed to not feel they must worry concerning us who are left behine. They can finally have peace. SO, my sister and I did what was the burning of white sage and praying that the creator would give our two parents (father also) peace. As we finished speaking on the smoke which takes silent prayers to the skies , two crow flew over and each one cawed once and flew away. We knew then our past loveones had total peace. To visit if they wished but not to feel they had to. I just finished my book on "In the Company of Crows and Ravens" and it showed how intellligent crows are. They know who you are once they meet you and will remember your response to their presence. This has been scientifically verified. SO, take care on your first meeting, the crow will not forget you.

[Bèsame*]

A dear friend is on my mind.

I found out earlier today she passed away last night. My heart hurts for her daughter and granddaughters . We had been friends for a very long time. Our Mom's were neighbors and best friends. They were in each other's weddings.
I think back, it's been at least 60 years of friendship between us. So maybe memories come to mind. She had been very sick for awhile. I was lucky to have spent time with her last year when I visited California.

Rest in peace for longest forever friend. I'll miss our chats but will always have the memories.

[Stone-Butch]

Because Taylor Swift is in Toronto doing a few shows that is all that is in the news. I had never heard one of her songs on purpose so I listened to one. It is a shame that being such an idol and inspiration to so many young girls that this diva could not finish one of her songs without using the F word. If TS does it, it has to be ok cause she is cool. This type of language is unnecessary and uncool. I dislike songs with vulgar language but that is MY opinion. You know, the one I can have. lol.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Because Taylor Swift is in Toronto doing a few shows that is all that is in the news. I had never heard one of her songs on purpose so I listened to one. It is a shame that being such an idol and inspiration to so many young girls that this diva could not finish one of her songs without using the F word. If TS does it, it has to be ok cause she is cool. This type of language is unnecessary and uncool. I dislike songs with vulgar language but that is MY opinion. You know, the one I can have. lol.

Not an excuse, but . . . Taylor Swift started out as a sweet young virginal thing still living at home with Mommy and Daddy. Now she's trying to prove she's grown. Wrongheaded, perhaps, probably, but she's at that age. BTW, she does have some very good songs without coarse language.

[Kätzchen]

In a sea of bad news with not much good news around, I've been noticing that people are starting to really imagine how life can be — when hate and cruelty is so abundant in the world around us. That’s what I was thinking about today, how life can feel rewarding, even during times of hardship. Some people are born into privilege while others aren’t. But it seems we all get to experience life in ways that seem immutably challenging. Or something like that …

Life is about to become survival of the fittest any day now…

Be kind… kindness is precious. Very precious. :stillheart:

[Bèsame*]

On my mind....this pulled/strained hamstring is kicking my butt.

I'm really tired of how long it's taking to get relief. Let me tell you, putting pants on, getting in and out of the car, taking the two steps into the house, and getting up out of a chair, is pure torture! I used to yell at the football players when they would hobble off the field. Just walk it off, like it's a cramp. Well, this is no way like a cramp.

However, I've started physical therapy, which after Thursday, if felt like torture!!

On my mind...kinda like looking at my cute physical therapist!! Be still my heart.

[Orema]

Mammogram. I need to call and make an appointment. I'm usually on this, but have let this go for too long. I will make an appointment later today when the painters leave.

I also need to donate some blood. I have 0 negative and it's helpful to lots of people. I've let that slide, too. Will reach out to the red cross this week.

I guess health is on my mind.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Driving. I bought a second walker to keep outside in my carport. This means I can now get to the car, and then back inside the house, on my own without anyone's help. I'm much stronger now than I was when I last fell in this spot, but it still feels a little dangerous to walk up the steps from the carport to the house. It's only two steps, but there's no handrail, just a wall.

Even so, I'm going to Publix tomorrow to pick up a prescription, and I'm also going to drive through the produce stand. I'll be home before the boy leaves for work, so that takes care of the safety factor. At least I won't have to wake him up to help me get to the car before I leave.

A little more independence is a good thing.

[Bèsame*]

Hurricane Season 2025

Last year, after loosing my Mom and then 2 major hurricanes, totally stressed me out. I will not put myself in that situation this year. I was ready, but I'll be better prepared going forward

I just went thru all my paperwork. I eliminated a lot of back pages of foreign languages. Streamed lined what is really needed and put them in a simple accordion file. It was easier, because it's just my stuff and not double bookkeeping with Mom's stuff. However I have a crap load of stuff that needs to be shredded.

Slowly I'm freezing water that I've filtered. It will act as a freezing element and drinking water later

Making lists and more lists. Things I need and things I know I want to take with, if I evacuate .

I'm watching the Atlantic and the Gulf closely.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Hurricane Season 2025

Last year, after loosing my Mom and then 2 major hurricanes, totally stressed me out. I will not put myself in that situation this year. I was ready, but I'll be better prepared going forward

I just went thru all my paperwork. I eliminated a lot of back pages of foreign languages. Streamed lined what is really needed and put them in a simple accordion file. It was easier, because it's just my stuff and not double bookkeeping with Mom's stuff. However I have a crap load of stuff that needs to be shredded.

Slowly I'm freezing water that I've filtered. It will act as a freezing element and drinking water later

Making lists and more lists. Things I need and things I know I want to take with, if I evacuate .

I'm watching the Atlantic and the Gulf closely.

This is really smart. I'm going to put it all on my to-do list; these are great ideas. For the past several years, the hurricane weather has been travelling up the east coast and wreaking all kinds of havoc. It caused a real mess in North Carolina last year that they are still recovering from. I personally had a tree fall on my house several years ago and lost my chimney and a bedroom. It took over a year to work it all out with the insurance company, and I only recovered about 25% of the total cost, in the end. I didn't qualify for any help from FEMA. Over a year went by before all the repairs were finished.

All this stuff happens yearly now, yet we all (in north Georgia, anyway) act like no serious weather is ever going to come north of Florida. The day a hurricane actually hits Florida, and all the roads are crowded and hotels are full of people fleeing Florida, that's when people who live around here start buying up all the bottled water, eggs, milk and bread. A few people might remember to bring in their lawn furniture and other loose items from the outdoors.

And now, the Navy is no longer sharing satellite weather information with NOAA, and weather forecasters will no longer have access to predictive hurricane information. FEMA has been dismantled, so there will be no coordinating organization between the states or help from federal agencies like the Coast Guard.

The more I write here, the more frantic and nervous I get about the whole thing. Not only am I putting this stuff on my to-do list, I'm sharing it with my friends, family and local Facebook groups.

[easygoingfemme]

Hurricane Season 2025

Last year, after loosing my Mom and then 2 major hurricanes, totally stressed me out. I will not put myself in that situation this year. I was ready, but I'll be better prepared going forward

I just went thru all my paperwork. I eliminated a lot of back pages of foreign languages. Streamed lined what is really needed and put them in a simple accordion file. It was easier, because it's just my stuff and not double bookkeeping with Mom's stuff. However I have a crap load of stuff that needs to be shredded.

Slowly I'm freezing water that I've filtered. It will act as a freezing element and drinking water later

Making lists and more lists. Things I need and things I know I want to take with, if I evacuate .

I'm watching the Atlantic and the Gulf closely.

I remember this from last year. You were really in a rough time. You're smart to be so prepared and I'm sure there is a mental health satisfaction to know you're doing what you can to be prepared. I hope you don't need the preparation but, if you do, you'll be as ready as you can.

[Bèsame*]

Is no news good news?

I'm waiting results of my nuclear update scan of my thyroid, still.

It's taking too long, I say!

[easygoingfemme]

Bèsame*, did you get your results yet?

On my mind: I'm getting a new foster dog next weekend. She's a 1-2 year old pit mix. (Ugh, my favorite!). I'm excited to have her for as long as I have her.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

On my mind: I'm getting a new foster dog next weekend. She's a 1-2 year old pit mix. (Ugh, my favorite!). I'm excited to have her for as long as I have her.

Good for you! Pitties are really so sweet. My pittie/boxer mix is currently in the hallway, trying to untie the knot in her towel to get the treats out.

[Bèsame*]

Bèsame*, did you get your results yet?



I did. Thank you for asking. I'm normal, nothing to go forward with. Yeah!

And...the results of my MRI of my left knee...torn meniscus. Along with arthritis. I got a cortisone shot right in the middle of my knee. Not a fix, but it has relieved the pain. Im still icing my strained hamstring. Continuing with physical therapy, hence joining the gym. I did see, the right knee. Not good. I can definitely understand the crunching and popping, it's bone on bone grinding. As soon as I can recoup from the left leg, the right is priority.

[easygoingfemme]

Bèsame*, I'm glad to hear that!

On my mind. I believe my kiddo will be getting engaged this week or next. Their partner asked me over the winter to make a ring box for the proposal and said they were shooting for this July. I made a nice ring box for them.

So fast forward to this week. My kiddo is super sick. I was over at their apartment this morning bringing soup and tea and shower steamers. Their partner is still hopeful that they can go out for dinner on Wednesday where there would be a proposal. I have a feeling that's not going to happen. I just suggested to their partner that, if they have the rest of their life together, it would be wise to wait another week until they are both able to enjoy it. I get the excitement but... I hope they wait until they both are healthy and can enjoy the moment.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

The boy's birthday is coming up Wednesday. We're both going to get our hair cut that day because it's the only day I could get appointments. Then we will go to eat at the local LGBTQ+ sports bar, because they have delicious food, and that's where we always go to eat after we get our hair done and we look good.

That evening we are going to experiment with making cherry fried pies in the air fryer. The boy loves cherry pie and he is convinced it can be done in the air fryer. It will be an experiment for both of us; we shall see.

He also wants to go see a movie in the movie theater for his birthday, but we will do that later in the week. Trying to do everything on Wednesday would be too much for both of us. Besides, when he sees what I got him for his birthday (a ring light for his video making projects), I know he's going to want to try it out.

[easygoingfemme]

GeorgiaMa'am that sounds like a lovely birthday plan! I hope you both enjoy to the fullest.


Well my kiddo has COVID and we're pretty sure their partner is coming down with it as of this morning. So I'd say their engagement is probably stalled by a week or so. As is the birthday party I was throwing for my kiddo on Saturday. How is my child 26 years old?

[cinnamongrrl]

Starting my new job on Monday. I’m going back into the medical assisting fray. I’ve greatly enjoyed the easy, breezy home health care segue for the last 6 months. But mama needs a new car. And the pay for part time work does not make that feasible…..

[Nat]

I have learned that I have DID. There’s like 52+ personalities in this skull apparently. Some dudes, some chicks, some who don’t care to gender themselves. The main issue is - I don’t have cohesive memories. And I act a lot of different ways and don’t know it. DID is believed to be caused by early childhood trauma, and it is not in the realm of psychosis but more of a neurodevelopmental thing as a result of trauma. It’s sort of like a partitioned hard drive - each of us has our own operating system. A lot of memories are shared, but we have a lot of dissociative amnesia as well.

Anyway, the main reason we are making this post is because something brought us back here today (I don’t remember what - see above for why I don’t.) and there were a lot of nostalgia feels and I just felt like maybe those of you who remember me - if I did or said things that didn’t seem to track, this is probably why. If I forgot you, it’s not because you were unimportant to us.

This community and the dash site were so crucial (and at times painful) in helping us understand so much about ourselves, queerness, transness, racism, classism, ableism, including many very difficult conversations here and on the dash site. Conversations I still am seeing echoes of in the current reality where big hate seems to be the name of the game a lot of the time.

Even though the discourse is traumatizing sometimes, I’m so glad for getting to have those conversations in butch-femme space back then just so I’m not as dumb now as I was. :)

I was 27 years old when I came out as a femme lesbian and found the dash site. Now I’m 47 years old, transmasc, somewhat butch-appearing - our femmes stopped being primary fronters around 2016.

I went through a breakup of an 8 year long relationship at the end of 2023, which was around the time I began to realize we have DID. I’m possibly slow-pacedly romantically pursuing someone currently, but overall I no longer care about dating, looking for a partner, sex, flirting, interpersonal drama, or anything that’s not my business.

I think it’s kinda funny how orientation became such an organizing principle for me in my twenties, and now I think I’m likely to prefer hermit-hood anyway, despite my orientation. I don’t even know what to call my orientation these days other than queer.

My current love interest is a bisexual femme as was my last ltr, and the last two lovers I’ve had were transmasc and nonbinary. They are/were all great.

I’m glad we have had a fair amount of wonderful lovers - we don’t always have access to our memories of them, but when one shows up on the big screen of the mind, we appreciate having those memories.

We have loved so hard, and been loved so hard and nothing lasted - but for those of us who carry significant childhood trauma and attachment wounds, I think sometimes relating is this wonderful thing that happens in the small partitions of time we have before the trauma takes it away again. Kinda like how the ocean will leave new gifts on the shore when the tide goes out but may take them back when the tide comes back in. It’s just a world of waves and and tides and shifting sands for those of us who have never been able to stabilize. Lots of fond memories of people we’ve loved who were prolly in as much pain as we were as well. Everyone in their private hells taking a break to connect and enjoy each other.

We have come to like our life alone with our pets and starting to get to know and understand each other on the inside (as we are able to.) There was a time when we always wanted to know the tea and here was the first place we came to every morning and the last clicks of the night as well - y’all kept me company during some of the hardest, saddest, most despairing, loneliest times in my younger life and we really appreciate the folks here who made it just a little easier to get through the day.

I don’t know if I will be back (but this isn’t a flounce at all - I just don’t know if my mind will bring me back here). I don’t know if I will remember writing this. But if we ever hurt you, it probably wasn’t intentional - we absolutely hate hurting people. But our forgetfulness and sudden changes were often things that harmed the bonds we formed here as well as the rest of the world. I hope I will be back though at least from time to time to check in on folks.

Also I’m still so sad about Juney. And also impressed with her bravery.

- Nat/e

[Bèsame*]

On my mind...the body part I'm hating now. Well, not just now, but daily. I cuss her out often. That no good, weak bladder, you are not my friend!